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Joe E. Lewis Quotes

«I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | About: Dieting, Drinking, Funny | Keywords: diet, drinking, eating, fourteen, heavy, swear off, swore, two weeks, weeks
«I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: camels, distrust, distrusted, distrusts, week
«You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: drunk, drunker, drunks, floor, holding, lie
«I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: Ate, diet, pep, pilled, pills, the Pill
«It pays to get drunk with the best people.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: pays
«Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | About: Funny | Keywords: Scotch, thirsty
«You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer)
«I drink to forget I drink.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer)
«Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: Adlai Stevenson, genius, has a, People Are Wrong, Right Thing, saying, Stevenson, The Right Time
«I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: dean, deans, Dean Martin, martin, The Dean
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