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W. C. Fields Quotes

«I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.»
«Never give a sucker an even break.»
«I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.»
«How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon -- and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.»
«It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never even thanked her.»
«Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.»
«Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.»
«Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.»
«Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.»
«Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: animals, hates

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