Quotations, Proverbs & Sayings

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George Carlin Quotes

«The status quo sucks.»
«Most people with low self-esteem have earned it»
«The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is»
«Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it»
«Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac»
«May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.»
«The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.»
«If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | About: Solution | Keywords: solution
«Most people are not particularly good at anything»
«Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?»

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