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Fred Allen Quotes

«There's good cops, but there's more bad cops than good cops around here.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«He's a fine fellow. I've known him a long time. I say they'll never catch him.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«We take nominations from the general public, and they go through a screening and voting, which has worked very well for the most part. But it's been a less-than-perfect system for long-dead inventors who don't have a constituency to push for them.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«If you want to stop people from smoking, it takes a much larger tax increase.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«Not every one of those lower-income taxpayers becomes a cost to a state-funded system.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.»
«If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard -- let him worry about cutting it.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)
«After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian)

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