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Emo Philips Quotes

«I'm a great lover, I'll bet.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: bet
«I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: bars, gum, gums, hoping, I go, lucky, singles, stool, stools
«You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: givers, Indian, Take That
«I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.»
«Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.»
«When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas...»
«I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.»
«You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.»
«My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: have sex, sister
«I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.»
Author: Emo Philips | About: Luck | Keywords: gum, hopping

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