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Many people don't realize it, but Charles Darwin was a real person, and contrary to popular belief, there might actually have been a purpose to his life. You see, Chuck wasn't just an ordinary guy, sure he loved to go sail boating and wind surfing like everyone else, but he got paid for it, thus setting himself apart from the rest of the nineteenth century. Truly, it takes a great man to figure out a …

…bird to have two beaks. At any rate, when Darwin returned home he was immediately indicted for cruelty to animals, (he had kept a live turtle on the boat) and sent off to crack school where he wrote what he called 'poetry' but was published under the title of Origin of Species. Charles Darwin ended up dieing after accomplishing absolutely nothing in his life, except to give the animal rights activists something to worry about.